Picture worth a thousand words

Mini me took Cocoa potty and i looked out back.. what i saw made me speechless. She was standing over Jewel's grave and talking to her.

..... It not only choked me up, but broke my heart!

In LOVING memory...

It is with such a sad, heavy heart that i write this post.. So heavy that as i write this, i'm so choked up, I can no longer fight back tears. My little shadow has finally gone to be with her Jesus.

Many of you don't know how our journey with our little Jewel began. Its a sweet story- I never grew up with a pet. EVER. I didnt ever want one because i didnt understand the concept of owning a pet and loving them SO much.

My sweet husband started looking for a dog, and i must admit i was VERY skeptical. He did hours of research online about what dog would be good with kids and hypo- allergenic. My skepticism turned to eagerness for a dog. For Valentines day, 2003, i received my little Jewel. She came to me Via plane, where we picked her up in the cargo area at the airport. She was the size of a dollar bill, no lie.

All black with rust colored hair around her face. As we opened the hard plastic carrier for the first time, i fell IN LOVE! her little body was shaking she was so scared. So little, i just couldnt get enough of her.

IT WAS THAT DAY MY LOVE WITH HER GREW DEEPER. She was my first dog, my best friend who went thru surgeries with me, took naps with me, stood at my feet to "shark" for food, welcoming home a new baby, a move across the country and a move to a new house.

From the first week we had her, she suffered from TERRIBLE health problems-

*we took her to a neurologist her first week at our house

* She choked on apple and Chicken nugget, both times ending up at the vet

*She had heart disease

*Liver shunt

She took medicine every 12 hours- she would vomit and become disoriented from her shunt. We spent countless dollars and hours in the Vet and she would pop back to her spunky self, earning the name "lazzy" because she reminded us so much of Lazarus from the Bible, coming back from the dead.

My heart hurt for her and yet she always had the BEST attitude and would snuggle all day long. From the first week we had her, i knew Jewels time was all borrowed and that it wouldnt be long that she shared her life with us.

This summer we talked about getting another dog in knowing that Jewel not only needed a companion, but I needed another dog to bond with for when the inevitable would come. And that's when cocoa became part of our family. She and Jewel were best of buddies and yet, Jewel was always boss ;) If she wanted her own space in her crate, she would growl at cocoa to tell her to stay away.

This past week, her time came. She suffered from what i now found out was mild seizures for the last few months and then Wednesday night suffered from 2 MAJOR seizures. i would sit with her, and rub her gently while reassuring her she'd be ok.

Thanksgiving came and so did her third Major and final seizure. i took her to the vet and talked with the Vet. she assured me that her time had neared and her health was not only getting worse, but she was in pain and disoriented. It was then in my heart i knew, NOW is her time.

I made the toughest decision of my life, knowing it was the best for her. I said goodbye--- It hurt.. SO bad.. it still hurts and probably will forever hurt. I miss her touch, her shadow, i miss her snuggling on my bed with me all curled up. Gosh.. its painful.

Thanksgiving is a time for us all to give thanks- and it was that day i will NEVER forget and will always be thankful for the 5, almost 6 years she spent with us. Jewel will always be special to me, being my First dog.

It is with a heavy heart that i say, "Jewel, YOU WILL BE MISSED!"

Where ARE my bon bons?

Today i had to laugh.. i've been talking with some girlfriends who want to be stay at home moms, like are DYING to do the stay at home mom thing. I've been home with my girls since mini me was born. And i know its a privilege! I've always had a side job to give me some sanity UNTIL this last year when i moved out south. I'm adjusting, but long some days for a side job like before..

I wanted to blog today and give those girls a glimpse into a stay at home mom's CRAZY and eventful life!! Every day differs and nothing is ever exactly the same! Its a comedy show!

6:45- alarm goes off
i press snooze.( while thinking, i have to get up to make breakfast and do mini me's hair)

7:00 - i get out of bed and immediately start making pancakes, while talking to mini me.
- remind to brush her teeth
-decided today will be a hot lunch day.
- ask the husband to put money in backpack for lunch.
-keep flipping pancakes

7:20 - made half of pancake batch.
-realize my friends dropping her 9 month old off in 10 min for the day.
- as mini me is eating, i'm curling her hair.
-husband is playing songs on you tube for them while they eat.

7:30
- baby gets here
- still doing mini mes hair

7:50

mini me is watching for bus.
-BUS DOESNT STOP AND KEEPS DRIVING.
- of course, i have 2 babies now..
( thinking of the outcome of the toddler opening the front door and letting 2 dogs out, isnt a good sight)
- carry a kid on each hip while walking mini me across street to catch bus.


Toddler changes.

Baby wants to just be held. i hold him, but the ADD kicks in.

i clean kitchen and dishes.

i sit on couch, baby is crying.. ADD hits again, along with OCD-

i strip bed and throw laundry in, while putting 2 loads away.

Baby wants to eat, i sit and feed him and watch 10 min of DVR ( it takes me up to 3 days to watch ONE hr show!)

Toddler's changed about 4 times by now. IM NOT LYING.

I decide while sitting on couch with baby drinking bottle, i'll email dad.

Baby needs to be changed. Changed and fed, i put him down for nap.

i give dogs their heartguard, and start a quesadilla for the lil muffin.

While that's on the stove i start 2 other projects, and walk into bathroom- about 10-15 min have gone by.. something smells BAD.

OH.MY.GOSH... QUESADILLA IS BURNING.. I MEAN.. BEYOND BURNT. HOUSE STINKS, ALL FANS ON.

more laundry, baby down.

Make christmas list--- think of how to decorate my house for Christmas.

What am i making for dinner tonight?

Sort more laundry.

Did i mention- NO makeup, still in cozies, i may get a shower by 1 pm.

Folks.. its only 10:50- what's in store for the rest of the day..

and i ask: "WHERE ARE MY BON BONS THAT EVERYONE THINKS THE STAY AT HOME MOM EATS ALL DAY EVERY DAY?"!

I'd rather be at work ;)

Something to be SO greatful for-

I've been out of the blogging world due to a nasty virus on my computer, but i am back and more thankful than ever to my friend for fixing it for us!! I've had something on my heart for weeks now that i wanted to share with ya'll. This month more than ever, people are focusing on things in their life they are Thankful for, THIS story is so near to my heart-

I have a friend whom i've known for years. We went to highschool together and not until the recent years have we really talked. Her husband and she have struggled with infertility for years and while i have never experienced infertility first hand, i hurt for her. It hurt. When you've done everything the right way, and you still dont succeed, you wonder WHY you cant have something you want and desire so bad. I prayed for her and her husband and referred her to a fellow blogger that too had struggled with infertility for years and had recently had a child.

Then, weeks later, the good news came that she was expecting, healthy and doing well. My heart soared for her and her husband and this long awaited journey in their lives. I tracked her progress and loved getting pictures of her tummy and the baby's nursery. the baby's due date wasnt until New years Eve-----

October 8th, i saw her post :had a baby shortly before 4 am today...emergency c-section...scary but everything looks good" I was shocked and scared for her, but prayed that God would prevail and keep his hand on this little miracle child. through technology, She has updated constant pictures and updates of her little angel-- We'll call her "Faith". Faiths little body on these first pictures, so frail, and yet so strong.

These pictures just tugged at my heart-- how she's clinging to her daddy while sleeping on him. It brought tears to my eyes and STILL does as i type this. Through God's grace, miss Faith is fighting, and getting stronger by the day. The little things all new parents take for granted such as pooping, and feeding and gaining every little ounce are HUGE steps in this little girls life. She's growing by leaps and bounds.. On the day of her birth she weighed in at 1.11 lbs and as of a few days ago is 3 lbs. GOD IS GOOD!!! Please continue to pray for Baby Faith- pray for her little fragile body to continue to grow strong. Pray for her mom and dad as this is obviously so emotionally draining we cant even imagine.

As Thanksgiving nears, be thankful for the things in life that have been given to you -- even the little things we take for granted. Thank you, Lord for the miracle of baby Faith and for your continued blessings for her and her family!!!

Miss Faith, November 13th looking so peaceful as she sleeps - her precious little lips, having a moment without her feeding tube.

Favorite thing EVER right now? Stacy's Pita chips!!! Can't get enough!!

Front row parking @ Wal*mart- what a way to start the day ;)